Devil at work! Infidelity experts says adultery is good for marriage - if you don't get caught.



Noel Biderman - Adultery Expert

Ashley Madison is a controversial Web site that enables married men and women to have extramarital affair. Based in Canada, Noel Biderman is forthright about the right of the married to have affairs -- providing they don't get caught.

Still plugging away, Biderman gets death threats and letters of complaint from the Vatican. Even the Queen of Spain has sued him. Bearing the motto - "Life is short. Have an affair" - the dating service is free for women but requires payment from men. Virtual "winks," instant messaging and "travelling" services are offered for members seeking an affair during business trips.

A mobile app uses GPS technology to track down the nearest available potential lover. Since launching in Canada on Valentine's Day in 2002, it has attracted more than 24 million members in 37 countries. South Korea joined last week.

The 42-year-old Biderman has tirelessly defended his Web site. "Infidelity exists in every culture in the world," Biderman told the Japanese media. Referring to himself as the "Emperor of Infidelity," he adds that "There's no place you can point to on the planet where there is no unfaithfulness. "In the lifetime of a relationship, on the male side, close to 70 or 80 percent of men are going to be unfaithful at some point or another in their marriages. And the female side is incredibly on the rise - it's well past 40 percent."

Since the launch in the United Kingdom four years ago, more than 825,000 members have joined - in particular, married women aged between 38 and 42. "Our brand really resonates well with a married woman, 15 plus years into her marriage who doesn't feel that celibacy should slip into the marriage at this time," he said.

Japan is another success story. One million members joined within nine months of its launch last summer. "It seems to me that culturally, this region does the best at separating sex and marriage," Biderman says. "You can do sex outside marriage much more liberally here. That's not to say that they don't present a traditional face, as most societies do. But I think that if we had to measure the infidelity economy in Japan, it's incredibly sizeable." The reasons for soaring adultery, he says, are varied and complex. Recession-hit nations such as Spain, where they remain affluent communities with large disposable incomes are also major players in the "infidelity economy."

The human race is simply not biologically programmed to remain faithful - and he says that this can be good for a marriage. "People have affairs because we're not engineered for monogamy," he says. "Monogamy didn't come about from some great scientific research. If anything, the current social science tells us the opposite. "That the longer the couple is together, invariably, after six months, their sexual encounters decrease, two years, they decrease even further. Twenty years into a relationship, we're no longer sexually attracted."

Biderman has incurred the wrath of the Pope. The Vatican sending a disapproving letter to Ashley Madison in opposition to its sponsorship of Rome's basketball club Virtue Roma. Singapore's government banned the site, following a public outcry against its "flagrant disregard" for public morality. Biderman plans to challenge the ban in court.

The precise act of having an affair - without getting caught - can actually help save a marriage, the only other option normally being divorce. "There was tons of infidelity before I got here," he said. "The only encouragement I give is to say to people, there is a way to have the perfect affair. "So the perfect affair is not only meeting someone like-minded, it's also not being discovered. That's what I've built: a platform where everybody here has put up their hand and said I'm interested in an affair, and the technology to keep it discrete."

Biderman describes himself as monogamously married for 10 years with two children. His wife, he claims, is unwaveringly supportive. However, he candidly admits she does not share his views on infidelity: "If in the next decade, my sex life evaporates, I have no interest in being celibate. "Because I have these wonderful children, an extended family I cherish, great economic success and homes - I have not worked for all of that just for sex. I wouldn't get a divorce, therefore, if that happened, I'd try to have an affair."

My Dear Readers,

 I hope I am not the only one that finds this very ridiculous. But as some people may be quick to say: “Wake-up man!!! It’s a free world after all”, but we must be wary of the consequences of trying to heal the world by justifying morally debased ideologies.

DeepTingz: ...WHILE YOU'RE WAITING.

DeepTingz: ...WHILE YOU'RE WAITING.:   YES!!! Waiting can be an investment; Waiting can be a tool for advancement; Waiting can be a strategy for change. But, wa...

...WHILE YOU'RE WAITING.

 

YES!!!

Waiting can be an investment;

Waiting can be a tool for advancement;

Waiting can be a strategy for change.

But, waiting, if wrongly directed, has potential to become a debilitating strategy that causes you to adapt to the present in a way that can sabotage your future.

A patient dog, according to a popular adage, is said to enjoy the reward of eating the fattest bone. But does the dog attract the fattest bone by just waiting patiently or could there be something else this adage does not tell us about what the dog was doing while waiting patiently? Because it makes a lot of sense to think that this dog must have not just merely waited, but must have waited strategically. If I am correct, then waiting strategically implies that a plan of action must have been in place which required elements of patience for its maturity while in execution in order to attract the reward of the fattest bone. Therefore, the fattest bone did not drop from the sky because the dog was patiently waiting, but rather the dog knowing that the fattest bone was somewhere in the sky strategically put a plan of action to work and waited for it to gravitate the fattest bone of its desire.

So the million dollar question is: What Do You Do While Waiting?

Yes!!! A good Christian like me will say: “God’s time is the best”; but God’s time will have to synthesize with your preparedness to produce the best. The common man on the street of Naija will say: “E-go-better”, but “E-go-better” will only respond to how better prepared he is for the better opportunities he is envisaging ahead. So the million dollar question still stares you in the face:  What Do You Do While Waiting?

Taking a look back at the story of the patient dog, do we believe that the dog was on a hunger strike while waiting for the fattest bone? I don’t think so. The dog must have had other little bones to make do with in the meantime while patiently anticipating that its plans for the fattest bone will soon bring forth. But we must not forget that, most importantly, there was a PLAN.

The illustrations above, is similar to the experiences that we humans get through with every passing day – we hope for better opportunities, circumstances and situations that contradict the ugliness of our present realities. This while being encouraged, as we’re expected to keep dreaming big, also poses a problem for a larger percentage of people who get stuck at the dreaming phase without concrete plans on how to progressively PUSH these big dreams into physical manifestations. Pushing, in this context, emphasizes perseverance; and perseverance can only deliver rewards when blended with good bouts of patience. You can observe to see that all still boils down to having patience, but this time: Active Patience (waiting patiently and doing something) and not Passive Patience (waiting patiently and doing nothing).

Waiting is part of the same equation as Hope and Anticipation. It creates powerful sensations which have same energy and excitement as completion. This is why most people live in the world of their dreams longer than necessary. Therefore, if waiting is to be properly appropriated as a positive tool, it must not be seen as a moment of delay, but a moment of preparation.

Have you extracted every meaningful benefit from your immediate environment? If not, then stop worrying about the dream afar off. While waiting for that big picture in your dreams, start painting smaller or small ones; while dreaming of affecting the world with the virus of your big idea, start by affecting your immediate environment first. There are things to get done while waiting.

This message may strike hard at the heart of your weakness or bring back memories of painful experiences you’ve had which deterred you from pressing forward, but not to worry: “Part of getting matured involves the process of allowing your painful experiences and weaknesses reveal the corrections that needs to be made to facilitate your future or success”.

The million dollar question is still waiting for your response, but it’s like it has been rephrased: What Will You Do While Waiting?

 

I BELIEVE IN YOU!!! Strive for the Mountain-Top experience.